Your Questions About Recycling
by
Filed under Recycling Q & A
Mandy asks…
Well, my Russian mail order bride arrived, but they forgot to poke air holes. How can I sue a foreign company?
Thank you for answering my recycled question.
LOL, nice one Rusty.
The Expert answers:
If they poked air holes… She would arrive deflated !
John asks…
I would like to recycle my wedding gown that I bought in 2005. Any ideas?
I can’t give it away to another bride as it has some stains on it that the dry cleaners could not remove. It wasn’t very expensive (less than $120), is floor length white satin with spaghetti straps and no lace or embellishments other than some decorative embrodiery on the front. It wouldn’t look good if I tried to make it into a shorter dress. Where could I take it so that someone could use the material to make other clothing? By the way it’s a women’s size 16/18 (US).
The Expert answers:
Take it to a professional seamstress. They are everywhere and you can find one in the phone book. You could have it altered to wear on other occasions. You could save it for your children. You could have it completely made over into keepsakes like pillow covers or table cloths. Even a negligee to wear on your second anniversary.
Ruth asks…
Nuns say they’re “Brides of Christ”, so if one filed for divorce would she be entitled to half the Universe?
My contacts told me to recycle my old questions, so please direct your hate mail to them. Thank you.
The Expert answers:
This was a legal ruse invented to keep them from going after the Vatican’s treasury. Over the centuries, nineteen former nuns have attempted to sue their ex-husband. He is currently wanted on charges of contempt in seven countries.
Richard asks…
Ideas for a wedding toast?
I’ve been asked to give a wedding toast on saturday. Yikes. Not only do I get nervous, but I don’t know what to say. I went to school w/the bride and barely know the groom. Has anyone heard any great toasts that could be recycled for other weddings or have any ideas. Thanks.
The Expert answers:
Well it depends on if you want to make it funny or not. Or how long they have been together. My husband and I dated for a long time (about 6 years) before getting married. His brother joked…. “I can’t believe my brother made such a drop of the hat decision to marry this person he hasn’t known very long. All I know, is that she seems to make him smile, and that is all that matters. Best wishes to the both of you.” Also, if you know a funny story about when they were dating, you can talk about that. ” I remember when Jenny first started dating Mike, and she said she thought it was all over because he made her laugh and milk came out her nose. I’m glad it wasn’t all over, because now, we all get to meet here today. Here’s to all the future ‘we will look back on this one day and laugh’ moments.” Or you can just be honest. “Mike, I really don’t know you all that well, but I know Jenny well enough to see that sparkle in her eye when she says your name, or thinks about you. Thank you for making her smile and I wish you all the best”
Steven asks…
Do you think it would be a good idea if men arranged the wedding?
There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up.
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.
They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not..
Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.
June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.
Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part.
The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped-up ’73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!
Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.
Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of “Best Man.”
There would be “Tailgate Receptions.”
Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.
Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. The cost of strippers and liquor really does add up.
Men wouldn’t ask, “Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?” They’d just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.
Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.
The bride‘s dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her ass.
Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza, and plenty of bar-b-que.
No one would bother with that veil routine. But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.
The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral/wedding (what’s the difference) or something.
Invitations would read as follow: Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain. He’s getting married. He either: A) Knocked her up, B) Couldn’t get a different roommate, or C) Caved in to her ultimatum. Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him For the rest of his life at Soldier Field Stadium On the 50-Yard Line at Half-time during Sunday’s Game Please join us at the Moonlight Lounge after the game For Beer, Nachos and Pizza. Oh yeah… B.Y.O.B.
The Expert answers:
I had no idea that you had met my ex husbands family! Chuckles and stars for you once again!
George asks…
Do you agree with the Razzies?
This is a list of every movie being considered for the Razzies from the site with the comments from the Razzie’s forum administrator (for those of you that don’t know, the Razzies are an awards ceremony that honors the worst movies of the year, and I give all the credit to http://www.razzies.com/forum/default.asp):
ALIENS IN THE ATTIC
Crappy-Looking CGI, Irksome Child Actors and UNfunny Jokes — Who Could Ask for Anything More??
ALL ABOUT STEVE
It’s 2 Years Later…Do You Know WHY This Film is (FINALLY) Being Released??
ANGELS & DEMONS
Another Un-Asked-For Sequel to a Movie (Almost) No One Actually Liked…
BRIDE WARS
First Film Out-of-the-Gate in the New Year…and We’ve Already Gotta Contenduh!
C ME DANCE
Get Thee Behind Me Satan…and While You’re There, Let’s Dance!!
DANCE FLICK
The Wayans Brothers Ripping Off Seltzerberg…OMG That Sounds Awful!!
DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION
Is This a Case of Too Pitiful, Too Late??
FAME (2009)
What Rhymes with The Title of This Unnecessary Remake…Hmm: Lame, Shame, Defame…
FIRED UP (aka F.U.)
Oh, Yeah — F.U. Right Back Atya, Hollywood!!
FAST & FURIOUS (2009)
Gentlemen, Start Your Engines…and Park Your Brains Outside the Theatre
FINAL DESTINATION 3-D
Death by Escalator, Death by Car Wash…Death by LAUGHING?!?
FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)
Jason’s Back…If Anyone Still Care-z-z-z-z-z-z-z…
G-FORCE
So Cute ‘n’ Furry You’ll Wanna Cough Up Hairballs!
GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST
Who Exactly Is the Audience Supposed to Be for This Dreck??
G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA
A $100 Million Boy Toy Movie?!?!?
HALLOWEEN, TOO
A Remake of a Sequel to a Remake…?!?!?
HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE
A Smiley-Faced Miley Goes Country…UGH!!
THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT
O-o-o-o-h, Scary — Evil Spirits That Can Make You Crap from Yer Mouth!
HOTEL FOR DOGS
The Cinematic Equivalent of Stepping in a Steaming Pile of Doggie You-Know-What??
I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY
…But They May Hate RAZZIE® Day Even More!
I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER
Forgettable…and Forgotten BEFORE It Even Opens…
IMAGINE THAT
Eddie Edges Away from Multiple Characters with a Cookie-Cutter Family Friendly “Comedy”
JENNIFER’s BODY
This Wants 2-B Sexy and Smart…at Least They Got the Sexy Part Right!
JONAS BROTHERS: THE 3-D CONCERT EXPERIENCE
They’ve Got More Talent in Their Little Fingers…Than Most People Have in Their Big Toes!
KNOWING
Nic Cage Already MADE This Movie (and Was Already a Worst Actor Nominee for It). Last Time It was Called NEXT
LAND OF THE LOST
A Mega-Budget Remake of a Wonderfully Tacky Old TV Show…Sound Like a BAD Idea 2 You??
LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
Yet Another Un-Needed Horror Remake…HO HUM!
LOVE HAPPENS
Given the Less-Than Positive Word-of-Mouth, Reviews and Box Office, Maybe This Shoulda Been Called S**T HAPPENS!
MISS MARCH
a.k.a. Hef’s First Shot at “Winning” a RAZZIE…
MY LIFE IN RUINS
Think of the Title as a Self-Review from the Film-Makers…
By Forum Administrator
NEW IN TOWN
Nothing “New” Here…In Fact, There’s Arguably “Nothing” Here at All!
NEXT DAY AIR
A Contender as Dumbest Counter-Programming Release of 2009…
OBSESSED
aka “Crazy White Chick Goes After Beyonce’s Hubby”
ORPHAN
Adopting an Over-the-Top Attitude with a Horrifying Result…
PINK PANTHER, TOO
Just One Question…W-H-Y?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
SHORTS
From the Creator of SPY KIDS 3-D and SHARK BOY & LAVA
GIRL…Wait, That’s Actually NOT an Endorsement…
SORORITY ROW
Speaking of Recycled/Re-Hashed Concepts…
SPREAD
Why do a remake of MOMENT BY MOMENT??
STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND of CHUN-LI
Take One Cliche’ from Column A, One from Column B…
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
It May Kick Bot at the Box Office, But We Still Think It’ll Stink!
THE UGLY TRUTH
Whadda Ya Know, They’ve Finally Made a “Rom-Com” with Neither the “Rom” NOR the “Com”…
THE UNBORN
Who’s Yer Daddy? Could It Be…SATAN
UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS
Is It Just Us, or Does “Underworld” Sound Like a Place to Buy a Push-Up Bra??
THE UNINVITED
…and the UNwelcome!
WHAT GOES UP
…Must Come Down. But Where is “Down” from a 00% R.T. Rating??
WHITEOUT
Why Does This Remind Us of the Old Admonition About “Yellow Snow”?!?
YEAR ONE
Is This Set in the Stone Age…or the STONED Age?!?
The Expert answers:
I agree with most of the picks that the Razzies make. I also agree that some of the work done by actors liked Sylvester Stallone, Madonna, Kevin Costner, John Travolta, Adam Sandler leave those actors open to criticism. But if you look at the history of the Razzies nominees and winners, they seem to be obsessed or fixated on certain actors. It gets to a point where you just say “Come on!” They will nominate certain actors for even mediocre performances and they just keep slamming the same actors year after year. I thought the Razzies were supposed to nominate and award the very worst performances. It’s like they are proud of bashing the same actors all the time. All those certain actors have to do is not be brilliant and they will automatically make the list. I think that is a little unfair. It sort of brings home the point that the Razzies are more like a group of heckling fans and haters than they are actual film critics
Linda asks…
survey: what are your top five….?
chuck norris jokes? you pick from the list or use your own 🙂
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg
Chuck Norris beat halo on legendary with a broken guitar hero guitar
Chuck Norris doesn’t have to cut his grass he just stares at it and dares it to grow
Chuck Norris counted to Infinity Twice
Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin
When Chuck Norris is doing push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the world down.
God can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land
Chuck Norris doesn’t watch tv, tv watches Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can eat just one lays potato chip
The term clevland steamer came from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is curently suing myspace for the name of what he calls everything around you
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list
The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends”.
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It’s not because he’s scared of the dark – it’s Because the dark is scared of him.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you
When girls have sex with god, they scream CHUCK NORRIS!!
when men have sex with god, they scream OOH CHUCK YES CHUUUCK!!
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete
Darth Vader dresses up as Chuck Norris for Halloween.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
the Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer; too bad he has never cried
oxygen, heat, and chuck is what is needed to create fire
chuck norris kills life for fun
chuck norris bakes better cookies than his grandmother
chuck norrises son was nailed to a cross and resurrected 3 days later
chuck receives tip but delivers no pizza
chuck may kiss the bride whenever he feels like it
preist: you may kiss the bride
chuck: kiss her!?!? im going to destroy her, and she will enjoy it!. she was never heard of again
chuck can’t f*ck with norris nor can norris f*ck with chuck
only chuck norris voted for obama
and obama voted for chuck
chuck is the magic number
chuck norris created all chuck norris jokes
on chuck norrises street chuck norris does not stop at stop signs or at red lights, their have 1031 deaths on his street all caused by chuck norris
chuck norris does not own a vehicle
he rides a unicycle,without a wheel
CHUCK NORRIS FLOSSES WITH BARBED WIRE
chuck norris walked into a bar. BOOOOM!!
2012 chuck norris will come back to earth
on chuck norrises keyboard their is no cntl key chuck is always in control
chuck eats at mcdonalds and not at burger king as he always has it his way anyway
goku received all of the power to create the spirit bomb from chuck norris
it is always dark when chuck norris is around as light is smart enough not to go directly to chuck norris
thats why you never see him
and thats he does not have a sun tan
chuck norris can destroy planets easily, their is enough energy in one his punches to give the planet a lifetime of electricity, and he can crush diamonds with a feather pillow
he also has a 9 inch penis
their is nothing sharp enough to cut his pubic hair
so he rips the hair out
chuck is real tight with spongebob
if you did chuck norries mushrooms you would smell chuck norrises roundhouse kick
don’t ask chuck to play jengar as buildings may fall
santa delivers all parcels and post to chuck and he does not receives bills or etc
chuck loves to park on double yellow lines
and he always get a concert ticket on his window
chuck norris does not breathe air he holds it hostage
chuck has presteiged a 1000 times on call of duty
chuck norris is always the banker in monopoly and with every loan you must pay 50% interest
and you must GO TO JAIL if chuck says GO TO JAIL, im not talking monopoly anymore
1) Chuck Norris puts the ‘laughter’ in ‘manslaughter’
2) Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, people just answer the wrong phone
3) Whilst having sex in a trailer, one of Chuck Norris’ sperm got in to the engine. We now know that truck as Optimus Prime.
4) Chuck Norris doesn’t read. H
what are your top five fave
i think kimbo’s gonna get the best answer
The Expert answers:
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with an erection, there were no suvivors.
When Bruce banner gets mad he becomes the hulk, when the hulk gets mad he becomes chuck Norris.
There is no theroy of evolution, just a list of creatures chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris doesn’t waer a watch HE decides what time it is,
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris keeps a pillow under his gun.
If you spell chuck Norris in scrabble you win… forever.
In an average room there 1,536 thing that chuck Norris could kill you with including the room itself.
Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter.
If at first you don’t suceed you are not chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once killed two birds with half a stone… what? No such thing as half a stone u say? Two birds didn’t think so either.
If u see chuck Norris u should be afraid, if u can’t see chuck Norris u should be really afriad,
chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Ok so that was more than 5 but these were all the ones I came up with off the top of my head… I think I earned a best answer for this plzzzzzz.
David asks…
Good underground horror movies?
Recommend some good horror movies? Below is a list of all movies I’ve seen already so do Ctrl+F to see if I already watched it or not before suggesting me 🙂
I’m looking really UNDERGROUND yet good scary movies
Chronicles of Narnia 1,2
Lion King 1,2
Little Mermaid
Thumbelina
Cinderella
Sleeping Beauty
Enchanted
Shrek 1,2,3
Groundhog Day
Corpse Bride
Mulan
Dark Waters
Elf
White Noise
Time Machine
Devil
Kickass
Sky High
Madea Goes to Jail
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Going the Distance
Beowulf
Kungfu Panda
Wanted
Memento
Wizard of Oz
Magician’s Aprentice
Lilo and Stitch
Alaadin
Tangled
The Notebook
The Truman Show
Fantastic Four 1,2
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Snow White
Little Mermaid 1,2
28 Days Later
28 Weeks Later
Dawn of the Dead
The Grudge 1,2,3
Boogeyman 1,2
Poltergeist 1,2,3
The Ring 1,2
The Exorcist
Trust
The Village
The Shining
Pet Sematary
Human Centipede
30 Days of Night
Hostel 1,2
Saw 1,2,3,4,5,6,7
Silence of the Lambs
Paranormal Activity 1,2
Paranormal Entity
Blaire Witch Project
Mean Girls
Kill Bill 1,2
Norbit
The Great Gatsby
Simon Birch
The Mist
Hellraiser
Scary Movie 1,2,3,4
Scream 4
Nightmare on Elm Street
Braindead
The Thing
Silent Hill
National Treasure 1,2
The Hills Have Eyes
Terminator 1,2,3
Pirates of the Carribean 1,2,3
Willy Wonka
Wicker Man
The Blob
Alien Vs. Predator
Star Wars 1,2,3,4,5,6,7
Amyville Horror
Taken
Broken
Pleasantville
War of the World
Race to Witch Mountain
Spiderwick Chronicles
Watchmen
Batman: Dark Knight
Eating Out 1,2,3
The Orphan
Pan’s Labyrinth
Jacob’s Ladder
Mirrors
Rec 1,2
Lord of the Rings 1,2,3
Ju-On
Shawn of the Dead
Mosquitoman
Green Lantern
Up
Despicable Me
Spiderman 1,2,3
Thor
Odyssey
Clash of Titans
Pirahnas
Jaws 1,2
Lake Placid
House of Wax
Wicker Man
The Substitute
Max Magician and Legend of the Ring
Texas Chainsaw Massaccre
The Uninvited
Disturbia
Rear Window
The Fifth Element
Indiana Jones Kingdom of Crystal Skull
Scream 4
Wrong Turn
Dead Silence
Chucky 1,2,3
Terror Train
Hide and Seek
It
When a Stranger Calls
One Missed Call
Session 9
Misery
Donny Darko
The Sixth Sense
Ghost Ship
The Mummy 1,2,3
Skeleton Key
Jeepers Creepers
Ghostbusters
Honey I Shrunk the Kids
Home Alone 1,2,3
The Oprhanage
Haunting in Massachusets
Harry Potter 1,2,3,4,5,6,7
Hercules
Monster Island
Ferris Beuler’s Day Off
The Day After Tomorrow
Stairway to Heaven
Batman and Robin
Spongebob Squarepants Movie
Benjamin Buttons
The Pianist
The Breakfast Club
Inception
Shark Tale
Finding Nemo
Toy Story 3
Prom Night
Recycle
Gremlins
Moulin Rouge
Underworld
The Matrix
Godzilla
Drag Me To Hell
Insidious
Night of the Living Bread
Thankskilling
Cube 1,2,3
Funny Games
The Host
Tremors
Holes
1408
Final Destination 3
The Hitcher
Push
Resident Evil 1,2,3
Rush Hour 1,2
The Lovely Bones
Shutter
The Strangers
March of the Penguins
Madagascar 1,2
The Eye
My Bloody Valentine
The Descent
Sharkboy and Lavagirl
Vampires Suck
Red Riding Hood
Evan Almighty
Sandlot
Forrest Gump
Final Fantasy 7
Vantage Point
American Gothic
V For Vendetta
Nightmare Before Christmas
Caroline
Inspector Gadget
Free Willy
Goonies
Vacancy
Polar Express
The Breed
Dead Snow
Quarantine 2
Iron Man 1,2
Beastly
Hancock
X-Men
Catwoman
The Collector
Alice in Wonderland
Legion
Edward Scissorhands
The Unborn
Bridge to Terabithia
Mary Poppins
Session 9
Splice
Sometimes They Come Back
Bad Teacher
Zookeeper
The Expert answers:
Why did you put movies like Snow White on the same list as movies like Human Centipede?
Well, if you can stand gross, graphic movies watch the Antichrist. I’m a girl and I saw it when I was fourteen and wasn’t scared at all, but apparently it’s creepy.
A good underground horror movie is Forget Me Not. 🙂
Jenny asks…
Is it worth it to use do-it-yourself wedding invitations to save money?
I am a bride who cherishes beautiful paper (the Papyrus store is my mecca!), but I am realistic enough to know that not only will the majority of my guests not relish the invitation, but will most likely end up tossing it into the trash or recycle bin once the wedding is over. Trying to be more economical, I’ve seen do-it-yourself kits at Michaels and Target and am curious about them. If you’ve had experience with them, would you recommend the DIY kit? I’ve heard it can be a stressor as well if your printer does a shoddy job (smearing ink, paper jamming, etc.). I’m just not sure if it is worth the cost to order them through a company.
Also, I’d like to include “RSVP” cards but I’m wondering, from your personal experience, if they were even used by the guests or ignored/overlooked. (Ie, Is it worth the investment?). Any and all insight is appreciated! Thank you very much!
The Expert answers:
I thought about doing my own invitations (pocket folds to be exact) and found several tutorials and couple of blogs explaining how to do them. On one of these blogs, the girl listed her total (paper, supplies, ink, ribbons, embellishments, etc) and it came out to MORE than if she had gone to a print press. Keep in mind, that was just one girl and one experience, but she said she spent about 2 weeks, working everynight, making invites for 130 people.
I’m doing RSVP cards, b/c I want to get them in the mail, but I’m also including our wedding website which has the option to RSVP on there. At the end of the day, I don’t want people showing up that didn’t RSVP, so I’m trying to make it easier on the guests and hope it’s easier on us in the end.
I can’t really recommend a DIY because I’ve never used one. It might be easier to just go get bulk cardstock from Michaels or Hobby Lobby and work with those.
I’d say that if you have time before the invites go out, purchase and make a little bit of the invite at a time. That way you’re not trying to do it all at once OR breaking the bank.
Good luck!
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